When we can’t root for the Phillies …

…We root against the Mets.

Anybody but New York. (The Yankees too)

It’s a mentality spawned from years of watching New York teams win national championships.

I don’t consider New York fans in the same category as other fans, including myself, a die-hard Phillies fan.

When the Phillies make the playoffs, it’s special. The Phils don’t have unlimited bankrolls. Philadelphia teams in general have a tendency to be pretty awful, actually. But fans stick through these tough times, because we believe in the magic of baseball.

In 1993, I believed in the Phillies. That was the best baseball I’ve watched in my life. It was also one of the best times in my life.

The Phillies haven’t made it to the playoffs since—that’s including baseball’s Wildcard rule, which means more teams make the playoffs. But every season I watch and I hope, all with the belief I don’t expect my team to make the playoffs. I expect them to play hard. I expect them to represent Philadelphia with pride. I expect them to try to win each game.

For a true fan, that’s enough–the hope.

For New York fans, I believe, they expect their teams to make the playoffs each year–and win. I don’t think it’s as special. I don’t think they work as hard following their teams, because their teams are easy to follow.

Try to continue to watch television when Pat Burrell comes to bat and you know–oh God do you know–that he will strike out on a breaking ball 2 feet out of the strike zone. That’s dedication bandwagon fans will not understand.

New York fans are all bandwagon fans, I believe, because the bandwagon almost never stops.

Am I bitter?

One World Series victory in 100 years will do that to a person.

(On the plus side, former Phils and current Yankees Corey Lidle and Bobby Abreu both went down on the sinking ship that was The Bronx Bombers. Maybe they were cursed. It’s happened before.)

ODE TO MITCH:

"I was in a casino, and this man told me to move. He said ‘you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As if there was a fire, I wasn’t going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

"Waffles are like pancakes with a syrup trap."

"I’ve always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist … all right."

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